


Visits

by JustSomeMilk



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 18:02:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeMilk/pseuds/JustSomeMilk
Summary: Russel visits Del's grave occasionally. They love each other a lot.





	Visits

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Gorillaz fic! Always felt like there wasn't enough Russel, especially with Del. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

They were rare trips, once frequent, but reduced by how busy he was these days, not to mention how exhausted. With the new album, and Murdoc being in jail, Russel just had so much to deal with. But when he did find himself with a day off, he would drag himself out of bed early, before anyone else was awake, preferably. If he couldn’t manage that, because heaven knew he needed his sleep, then he would just hope they didn’t ask questions. Russel loved his band mates, but he couldn’t trust them to mind their business. It was 2-D who had first pestered him until he confessed. He had caught him leaving, and just wouldn’t let him be, saying, “C’mon, Rus, I’m good with secrets, I won’t tell. I’ll probably just forget anyways.” In the end, he had told him, but 2-D hadn’t forgotten. From then on if 2-D caught him, it was no questions asked.

Ace was new, so Russel knew he would ask. Maybe not right away, but soon. Eventually. When he would creep back into the house after midnight, Ace might be up late drinking and watching TV, or noodling around with his guitar, and he’s glance up and say, “Where’d you go all day, then?” Not angry, not demanding. Just curious and open, no pressure to answer. 

“Just drove around,” that was all he would say, and it was all he had to say. Ace would put his head back down, hum in reply, mind his business. Noodle was never told where he went, but she was smart. Russel guessed she probably knew and just didn’t ask.

Sometimes, as he’d climb into the car, he’s look up to see her looking out from one of the windows. Not hiding, maybe even meaning for him to see. She would be giving him this look that was sympathetic, and just a bit sad. He would try to shoot her back a look, one that said, “I’m okay, I just need to do this right now.” Then, she would usually give him a nod, and he would sigh and put his head back down and get in the car. Most of the time after that, he would just drive around aimlessly for a while, play old favorite CDs of Del’s. Some of them were things Russel would laugh or scoff at, but it wasn’t for him. 

Pulling up to the cemetery and walking to Del’s grave, he would feel heavy with everything that was weighing him down. He didn’t ever feel weighed down by Del, though. He didn’t miss him exactly, not in the tradition way. The way he saw it, Del never left, only got closer. Only his body left, now buried under where he stood, staring at his best friend and soulmate’s name engraved into his tombstone. Russel would stay up there for hours, and they would talk. It’s not like they couldn’t talk anytime, but it was different other places, with other people around. It was muddled and difficult, hard to hear. It was a lot nicer having Del right next to him like this. It was his face he missed, his calm and rhythmic breathing, reaching out and holding his hand, waking up from a nightmare and Del being there to hold him. He missed all of that.

They would catch up, mostly. Again, it’s not like they weren’t already around each other all the time. Del already knew everything that was happening in his life, but it was still fun to gossip, plus Del knew Russel needed to vent. Then, they’d be quiet. It was easy for Russel, but that was mostly because Del was constantly in his head, and Russel would be catching his loose thoughts, of which there were many. But Del would quiet down, because heaven knew Russel needed some quiet. Afterwards, he’d get back in the car, drive them somewhere special. Some place they would use to go. “Do you remember this place, Del?” he’d ask, and they’d reminisce. It hurt sometimes, but he always felt better afterward. He knew Del did too, because all the way home he would be so quiet still, so relaxed. Russel would arrive home feeling the perfect combination of happy and tired, and slept better knowing that Del felt the same. Heaven knew they both needed it.


End file.
